Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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