Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Im part way to drunk.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
