I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
