Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
