apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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