yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
