we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
