Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
