I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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