um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
