brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
