Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
