went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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