I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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