new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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