he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
