i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
