at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
