apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
