If i come over, it means nothing
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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