You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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