Pants 0. Shit 1.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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