its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
