you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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