i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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