Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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