It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
