We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
