Hey man sorry I got all grabby
one might say we're banned from that church
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
