so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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