i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
