In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
