cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
