i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
