I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
