I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
