doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
