So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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