Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
