I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
im on a boat
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