She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
