She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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