Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
