I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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