literally had 100 drinks last night.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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