He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
