hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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