quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I want to fling myself into the sun
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
