i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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