I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
